Move over Darling
The UK government will borrow a total £178 billion this year and expects to match that figure next year.
But all is not lost, a new levy of 50p per month on all households with a fixed line phone, confirmed today by the Chancellor of the Exchequer - Alistair Darling - in his pre-budget report will bring in £170 million a year of fresh, new cash.
OK, we're being a bit unfair there; the broadband tax isn't intended to tackle our suffocating national debt. That will be achieved by cutting the number of people on the public payroll. No? OK, how about paying them less? Not that either? What about just spending less in general? Nope.
But he will restore VAT to 17.5 percent, raise National Insurance by 0.5 percent in a couple of years and tax bankers slightly more, for a bit, so everything's going to be fine.
Back to the broadband tax; that's intended to ensure access to ‘super-fast' broadband to 90 percent of the country by 2018 - no time to waste, then. BT apparently reckons the cost of getting everyone onto super-fast broadband is around five billion pounds. Not £1.36 billion.
Nice to see everything's under control.