AVN Adult Expo 2007 - better than CES?
You know, life is full of difficult choices. Whether to jump on the all-too-expensive property ladder now and face years of high payments, or whether renting and paying someone else's mortgage is the right thing to do? Whether to have children now, or to wait a while longer? Life isn't as simple as it should be.
In a list of difficult decisions, there is one that is not just difficult, it's excruciatingly hard, and it goes something like this. There I was, standing at the intersection between two halls at the Sands Expo Center in Las Vegas, Nevada, trying to work out what to do next, after wearing down my soles trudging up and down for our CES 2007 coverage on four consecutive days. Directly in front of me was the main CES hall, used by the smaller companies that, unlike Samsung, Intel, Microsoft and LG, couldn't afford to spare the necessary change for 5,000 square-foot display areas in the main convention center just up the road.
In the smaller Sands Expo hall, then, the world's technology hacks could, if they wanted, peruse the delights of, say, the Shenzhen Jingrui Industry Company, specialising in garish feet-washing systems and the like.
The other option and directly to the left of where I mused on what to do, and remember it was difficult to decide, was the AVN (Adult Video News) Adult Entertainment Expo 2007, home to the largest adult entertainment event in the world, packed chock-full of ravenously beautiful, extrovert, and damn sexy women (and men, if that's your wont) this side of, well, anywhere.
Accidentally finding myself in the AVN press-registration area and, somehow, gaining an all-access press pass in just a few minutes, there was but one thing to do; enter and evaluate whether heaving silicon bosoms beat out LCD monitor technology and flash media formats.
Upon entering the upper of two rooms devoted to the expo, even the air is different. Yours truly turned from a bespectacled geek into super-stud Sandhu, ready to take on the entire room, in a journalistic way, of course.
The AVN expo is more, much more than just a place where eager fans can meet and mingle with their favourite stars of the blue business. Whole industries have grown up alongside the business, where trade customers can peruse and purchase the latest HD DVD (yes, p*rn in high-definition), can purchase more adult toys and clothing than is reasonable or healthy, and hook up with producers and directors from the main studios. You can also visit one of numerous seminars, ranging from 'How Would You Like It? Advances in Delivery Technology' to 'A Novel Approach-Workshop and Demonstration of Adult Toys & Novelties'. I somehow think Bill Gates and Michael Dell won't be giving keynotes this time around.
Indeed, looking at the exhibitor list that runs to almost a thousand, you'd never be short of a company with an interesting name and, probably, an equally interesting product line-up. Tongue Joy, ID Lubricants, Good Vibrations, Swingers Symbol, Chicken Ranch Brothel, Titty Tops, Best Whip, Inc., and My Party Doll all evoking particular interest.
If you're not quite feeling up to it, literally, go pay this man a visit. His all-natural solution is good for 72 hours, meaning all show, or so he claims.
Running alongside CES 2007, you'd expect the AVN Expo to play second fiddle in technology stakes. Not a bit of it! The main floor is littered with high-definition panels, the latest sound systems and high-definition cameras for the last ounce of detail on a pert bottom. Too bad my attention was drawn elsewhere.
The 4-day event will attract a record number of visitors and it's not hard to see why. You can spend an (un)healthy time ogling your favourite star(lets) and then buy their digital version, doing what they do best, on any one of thousands of DVDs and a sprinkling of high-definition discs on offer.
They say you can lose your shirt in Sin City; this was one place where that wasn't such a bad idea. We'll be taking a look at some of the technology that goes behind producing some of the big-budget films and speaking to some industry luminaries on HEXUS.tv, so stay tuned.
It would be remiss of me to make you read over 600 words and not illustrate just why it's so hard to leave once you enter, so feast your eyes on this:
Ahem, but the human hedgehog, Ron Jeremy, had a bigger line of admirers who wanted his signature (and God knows what else) than any of the stunning women found across the floor.
The irrepressible Larry Flint, First Amendment champion and owner of Hustler, surrounded by some lovelies from his stable.
That's better. The heart-stoppingly gorgeous Tera Wray is a fan of HEXUS, it seems.
The following pages have selected images of scantily-clad p*rn stars, purely, you see, as a demonstration of the talent present. Please only click the bottom-right link if you dare. We'll be handing out a prize for anyone who can guess the on-screen names of the lovely ladies. It's a booth babe bonanza x 10!