Ferret fixers
Virgin Media has been using specially trained ferrets to maintain its cable network for the past year, it revealed today. The crack team of streamlined engineers is sent down cable ducts to sniff out any issues and given microchip-equipped jackets to send back data to their human colleagues.
The ferret scheme has been on a limited trial for the past year, but has been sufficiently successful for Virgin to commence a full roll-out of the mustelid mechanics and is planning to significantly grow the current team of twenty.
"For hundreds of years, ferrets have helped humans in various jobs," said Jon James, director of broadband for Virgin Media. "Our decision to use them is due to their strong nesting instinct, their long, lean build and inquisitive nature, and for their ability to get down holes."
Not everyone supports Virgin's out-of-the-box thinking on this matter, however. Professor Ian Tegrity - chairman of the National Association of Pasty Vegetarians - said: "If these ferrets could talk we have no doubt they would tell Virgin where to shove their cable ducts. I mean, what next; using badgers for broadband? This isn't Wind in the bloody Willows you know!"
To commemorate a year of ferret-based maintenance, Virgin Media has commissioned a photo-shoot showing them at work.
