Extreme measures
Phone a Friend…You are not alone – women across the country will and are facing the same terrible truth; Euro 2008 has the same effect on men as Angelina Jolie walking naked into your living room and standing against the wall, to be a piece of living art.
Encourage them to congregate so you can do the same. Get them all over to one house, and take over another! You can have a girl’s night in with all the box-sets of Friends, Lost, 24, The West Wing, Sopranos – whatever floats your collective boat, but give it five seconds before someone suggests Dirty Dancing or Grease - nail varnish, leg-waxing (or not – I’d skip this and go straight for the nibbles; I never scream whilst in company, it’s rude), catch up on the gossip, couple of bottles of white and discuss why do you need a man? Girl Fun is Priceless. You never know what fantastic things you learn from friends regarding love, life and the universe with the help of a bit of vino…You may find that 90 minutes plus half time and the highlights just isn’t enough time after all…
If you need to help him drive him to another location, here’s a big tip; buy lots of food that needs refrigerating, not just enough to make the fridge look plentiful (or, for that matter, easily raided), but fit to bursting. Then, he can’t get his cans of lager, beer, traditional ales in there, and no man wants a warm beer now, do they? Then, like a refugee from a shipwreck they can stumble over their best-mate’s doorstep and beg sanctuary with the words, ‘can’t have a drink over my house…’ at which point the full capacity of male camaraderie and sympathy will be invoked and within moments they’ll both be on the sofa, bottles open, resting on thighs, eyes front. Job done. Just make sure you either really don’t like the best-mate’s wife, warn her, or invite her round yours to enjoy some really nice food…
OR, Go Out. Choose somewhere new, or fabulous, and really go for it. Have such a great time, he will notice when you get home, just that little bit more unsteady on the heels than normal, that your smile is a little bit wider and sensual – he will wonder what put it there. Any man worth his salt - there are some, apparently - will take a severe dislike to the notion his woman can have a better time without him, especially when it involves good food, good wine and lots of fine joking with maybe a bit of dancing thrown in. Mentally he will think he should have had some of the food and the wine, been the funniest guy there and shown how sexy he could be on the dance floor. Don’t take away his misconceptions; if he’s a night fever kind of guy, bringing him up to the present would be an unfair and cruel shock).
Make the Most of YOU Time
If the chosen location of watching the match is the pub, be fine with it. It means he’s out the house and you can have that candlelit bath that you’ve been wanting to have for so long without someone deciding you were lacking company and ruining the stress-free peaceful atmosphere by pretending to be the Kraken from the Pirates film.
Rediscover some of your favourite music, and tidy up your wardrobe, in the process discovering that fantastic little number you’d completely forgotten about; just perfect for that really nice dinner you’ll go to when he re-emerges into the social world.
When frustration threatens to spill over the dam of self-control just remember, he’s a man, he can’t help it, it’s not you, it’s just what happens. Don’t try and understand, just endure.
